Accidents and Pretty Girls (or How Not To Woo A Woman)

by The Bookshop Band

/
  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Artwork by Bjorn Lie

    Includes unlimited streaming of Accidents and Pretty Girls (or How Not To Woo A Woman) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 4 days
    edition of 500 

      £12 GBP or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      £7 GBP  or more

     

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
05:43
8.
03:56
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.

about

An album of literary wooing - some successful, many less so, featuring the band’s responses to The Unlikely Pilgrimage Of Harold Fry (Rachel Joyce - bells, reads), The Horologicon (Mark Forsyth - harmonica, vocals, commentary), The Teleportation Accident (Ned Beauman), The Crane Wife (Patrick Ness), A Day In The Life Of A Smiling Woman (Margaret Drabble), Bring Up The Bodies (Hilary Mantel as well as As You Like It, Much Ado About Nothing, and Twelfth Night (William Shakespeare).

credits

released February 14, 2017

All tracks written and produced by The Bookshop Band. The extract from The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry appears on track 12 courtesy of the author. Tracks 1, 2, 3, 5, 9 and 10 recorded at Realworld Studios. Tracks 4, 6 and 11 recorded at home, track 7 recorded at Christchurch (Rode), track 8 recorded at Ashley Manor. Extra recording at Rachel Joyce’s house, Mark Forsyth’s house, The Open Book (Wigtown), Jools’ house, Emma Hooper’s house, Caroline’s bathroom, Pete’s house. All tracks mixed by Ben Please, except track 1 and 2 by Marco Migliari, and track 4 which was mixed by Richard Evans at The Labour Exchange (Bath). All engineered by Ben Please, except track 4 with James King. String arrangements by Beth Porter and Ben Please.
Mastered by Marco Migliari
Artwork by Bjorn Lie (www.bjornlie.com)
Case design by Ben Please
Cases printed and cut by Opal Print, inserts by Richard Lawrence, disks by Key Production.
Those who directly helped with the recording include Marco Migliari, Mark Forsyth, Rachel Joyce, all the musicians who played with us, Brauner microphones and Louis Austin, Microtech Gefell GmbH microphones and Sound Link Pro Audio, Grace Designs, Leigh Haggerwood, James King, Richard Evans, Will Cookson, Steve Belgrave, Mike Hillier, Stuart Bruce, Chris Hughes and Ashley Manor, Universal Audio, UA Digital and Source Distribution, Realworld Studios, The Wigtown Book Festival and The Open Book, Nigel and Jackie at Rave Box Studios, Owen Benson, Anna Botterell and Andrew Hooker Violins, Keith Lunt and co. at Opal Print and Richard Lawrence, Vivi Tobies & Paul Walton. Big thank you also to Caroline Waterlow and Ashley Harrow.
Thank you to all our Patreon supporters, past and present, including James Patterson and Alan Squire Publishing, and our song sponsors (see tracks for details). Special thank you to Bjorn Lie for producing a beautiful piece of art for the album.
Thank you to Nic and Juliette Bottomley and ALL the staff at Mr B’s Emporium of Reading Delights in Bath for curating our reading.
And an enormous flood of gratitude to all the wonderful authors and bookshops who have inspired the songs on this album. Thank you.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

The Bookshop Band Bath, UK

The Bookshop Band write songs inspired by books and play them in bookshops. They started as a collaboration between a group of musicians in Bath and their local independent bookshop, Mr B's Emporium. Now they are about to go on tour, sponsored by Vintage Books and Independent Booksellers Week, around other bookshops and lit fests. Catch them if you can. Details at www.thebookshopband.co.uk ... more

contact / help

Contact The Bookshop Band

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Track Name: A shop with books in
There’s a story waiting inside
Behind the door, as it opens wide
And I wander in, hoping to find something
As they tell the stories we know
And those we don’t are waiting to be held,
And taken home
There’s a strange man inside
Who knows what I like
He’ll rush with tea to my side
And a stack of books piled high
If I’m lucky enough there will be lots of stuff
That makes me smile inside
In a shop with books in….
Shelves stacked high, fills my eyes
Cant describe, who knows what you’ll find
A lovely lady guides me through
I smell the pages, excitement grew
How glad am I to be In company, of such
Purveyors of quality
Her knowledge is vast, Her hand reaches out
And pulls the spine of a beautifully bound
Book of delights, Picked especially for me
I’m so happy in a shop with books in….
Track Name: How not to woo a woman
It was on that fateful day you saw me
dancing in the bar
Your eyes caught mine and so I came
and whispered in your ear
I hadn’t thought of what to say
or what you thought of me
But it seemed to go pretty well
and we left early
Move on now seven months
and we were married by the shore
With the two of us together
we never wanted more
I’ll get a job to feed us
and a home to keep us warm
And in a year or so I think our
children will be born.
So onwards seven years
and our little boy is five
I used to think I’d save him
but at least he’s still alive
We’ll have our ups and downs
but I know our love will win
So I’ll never leave this journey,
not even at the end.
Fast forward 20 years
and I’ll have been a lucky man
Our children will have grown
and left the house back in our hands
We’ll grow old by the seaside
and we’ll drink tea in the car
And I picture us beneath a grave,
in each others arms.
But now I catch myself as I am
dancing in the bar
A little over-thinking,
and perhaps a stage too far
I’ll just enjoy the moment,
any more and I would be
Too scared to dance like a fool,
and you’d never see me
Track Name: Cackling farts
I wake in the morning just before dawn
Uhtceare my dreamery’s gone
Thinking there’s so much to do and no time
Day-peep comes but the sun doesn’t shine
Cunctuation I can’t face the day
Pissaprest, hope it goes away
The rum-peeper shows me my pimginnits
I’m trying fucation to cover my zits
I can’t be bothered to straighten my hair
I’m cymotrichous and I don’t care
Most of my clothes are second hand
I’m a ragabash cos I’m in a band
I’m in need of ariston and a butter-shag
My cackling farts are over done
My toast is brizzled and Brizzle’s my home
It’s time to leave it with my cello
And more, to oxter lift and go
It’s the day of the gig at the bookshop
The band must charette and write till we drop
It’s a panic party but a jolly one
As long as we Chado to help us with songs
Ben is our host and makes pots of tea
We’re about to be golopshusly
bedinnered you’ll see
His cackling farts are just spot on
There’s cheesy toast within this home
Now it’s time to leave it with our big load
And more, to oxter lift and go
Waiting for people to turn up and sit
Nervously practising this little bit
Fisking around the bookshop and then
The author and audience, ladies and men
Now we’re at the song’s eschaton
Soon to be quafftide for this little one.
Nod-crafty people say they listened hard
Now to be vinolent, hand me a glass.
My fackling carts are over done
My head is Brizzled or is that my home?
It’s time to leave with David’s sow
And more to oxter lift and go.
Track Name: You make the best plans, Thomas
The second wife of Henry
Was accused of adultery
Oh yes, oh yes says Thomas
You see she wont bring a baby
She’s no good to his country
Oh no, please arrest her Thomas
She might come gracefully
For the sake of her family
But oh, take no chances Thomas
Go and find her lovers
That includes her brother
Oh no, that’s what they say, Thomas
I need no sympathy
I need no sympathy
From you, from you, from you Thomas
I’ll be found guilty
On the King’s authority
Oh well, well if you say, Thomas
But the King’s shown mercy
He’s not going to burn me
Oh no, well there’s hope yet Thomas
I’ll be kind to her
Said the French executioner
Oh so, well forgive me Thomas
So she held her body
For all the crowd to see
Oh yeah, to see the blood flow Thomas
And as he distracted her
Swung the French executioner
You’re the best,
You make the best plans, Thomas
Track Name: Accidents and pretty girls
Not one for politics
Difficult in social situations, parties
Always seemed to upset all the arty crowd
And women he was trying to impress
Lavicini gave him a purpose
And an interest in historical drama
Wanted to find reasons for theatrical disaster
Ending in hysterical palaver, a farce
And women always feature in these things
Followed a girl west as far as America
Where finally he found her
working for a scientist who thought
He could move mountains and
Murder any man in the way
There were lots of political and
Personal agendas
Didn’t see it coming in
Berlin or a nation, or a whole wide war
Blinded by society or ketamine
Ooooohh….
Found himself a long way from home
Found the one but left alone
He painted the Devil on the
Wall of his early years
But found there was more than
Accidents and pretty girls
What’s the one thing
That could uproot almost anything
A teleportation machine
A love that had a hold over him
A teleportation machine
Track Name: A feather from your side
When you swanned through
I want to know you
And we’re making something nice
That perhaps our friends will buy
I take old books that I find
And a feather from your side
I love you. Who are you?
And I feel like moving fast
Getting married, and all that
But I’ve yet to know you long
And where you get your feathers from
Come in, closer
And we’re making something nice
That perhaps our friends will buy
And I take old books I find
And a feather from your side
And I feel like moving fast
Getting married, and all that
But I’ve yet to know you long
And where you get your feathers from
And I want you to move in
I want to know everything
But it’s time that makes us sing
For the feathers make your wings
Track Name: Make a story
I create, make mistakes
You create, make mistakes
I feel a fire in me
If you forgive you’ll set me free
I feel a fire in me
Burns my blood you’ll see
We debate, make mistakes
Celebrate, love and hate
Make a story, make history
I see a fire in you
I’ll forgive and you’ll be true
I see a fire in you
Burns your blood it’s true
Volcano, please let go. I need to know.
Clean the slate, watch our fate
We create, make mistakes
Tell a story, tell history
I feel a fire in me
If you’ll forgive you’ll set me free
I see a fire in you
I’ll forgive and you’ll be true
Track Name: Helen's game
Convinced that they were the same
She started playing her game
And knowing nothing she was able
to persuade herself of everything
And his impression on her mind was made
He who has no name
She knew nothing but his face
And the way he had behaved that day
And the comfort he displayed
In the repetition of small unnecessary acts
She was the type who felt no intimation
was too delicate to exist it or perhaps
just to vain to describe.
But it’s in his eyes, well it’s in his eyes,
It’s in his eyes
Oh and an unfamiliar face allows us to create
A perfection in our midst
that might never exist
But we believe it all the same
Like the conclusion that you drew
from that bit of me you saw
In that slight piece of time
when I might have been flawed
I might have been flawed,
I might have been flawed
Oh by your eyes, by your eyes,
I might have been flawed
By your shoes and your hair
and that book I’ve read before
That you had in your hand,
and you held to your face
Trying to pretend you weren’t staring my way
And her impression on his mind was made And convinced they were the same
Knowing nothing he was able
to persuade himself of everything
Like the conclusion that you drew
from that bit of me you saw
In that slight piece of time
when I might have been flawed
I might have been flawed,
I might have been flawed
My edges were left blurred
for fantasy to occur
You laid your claim
on the vision of me you’d made
My edges were left blurred
for fantasy to occur
You laid your claim
on the vision of me you’d made
Track Name: Remembering when
The first thing I do is call for you
Now that you’re gone. It’s easy to forget
Remembering when we met…
It’s clear in my mind. I see.
Now we’re far apart
Mistakes we made
We’re breaking our hearts
The thing I do is call for you
Now that I’m gone. It’s easy to forget
Remembering when we met.
It’s clear in my mind I see
Now we’re far apart
Mistakes we made
We’re breaking our hearts
You left me at the start, where I remain
You’re breaking my heart
I never knew these open skies
And now that you are back inside my mind
Remembering when we met
I’m changing my mind. I see
Though we’re far apart
Mistakes we made
We’re breaking our hearts
You and me, we’ve made a start
So there’s a chance of mending our hearts
Track Name: Midnight at the Nursing Academy
Midnight at the Nursing Academy
Flesh out, I know they can’t see me
But they reach for my hand
Like somehow they understand me
Lights out at the Nursing Academy
They’ll sleep, but how will I see?
For when you’re gone
I feel truly alone
You left us back in Paris,
You don’t, visit.
You left us back in Paris…
I’ve lost my Nursing Academy
It’s not here, where could it be?
Oh what a bother
Must find another
I’ll find my Nursing Academy
Held in a secret library
In the pages
That’s where my love is
Have you come here to claim us?
Save us, play with us?
Track Name: Tales of disguise and delusion
How this day seems long
Deception sings it’s song
With tales of disguise and delusion
Masking a face, ears can embrace
Words that are meant for amusing
He be a boy , playing a girl
Dressed as a boy for confusion
For better or for worse
A doctor not a nurse
Did save a life in conclusion.
Antonio was full of woe
Unfortunate merchant did throw
All that he had for the taking
Borrowing and making bonds
His love for Bassinio strong
He hoped that his bonds wouldn’t break him.
The ships at sea they didn’t win
No mercy Shylock had on him
The bond was a pound of flesh, then…
Bassinio lost his ring
It could have cost him everything
The doctor his wife gave a testing.
Revenge is a theme, there’s sibling rivalry
And Much Ado for a short play.
They all end up fooled and some over ruled
An ass some are called and will surely pay.
Light hearted cupid spies
The rivals tell such lies
Accusing an innocent lady
Hero and Claudio
Were challenged by a foe
Now let’s all dance and be merry
There’s competition in the wit
Of Beatrice and Benedick
But by a trick they draw nearer
They think the other loves them true
Though the attributes are few
The joker he can’t help but hear her
Rosalind now a boy
To run away was her ploy
But love was a stronger emotion
Familiar was she to her family
None but her cus knew the notion.
She knew her passion wouldn’t fade
She had to refuse other maids
Causing a deal of confusion
Orsino was her biggest fan
Of her apparel as a man
Which showed up his love and devotion
Garnished as a boy Viola found her joy
But could not say where her heart fell
For his heart was gone, Olivia it set on
Triangle of love. Could it end well?
How now Malvolio
Cruel pranks have left you low
The lady she likes not your garters
Grinning like a silly clown
When she’d prefer to see you frown
Perhaps take the tights off for starters
A sister and a brother found
Both had thought the other drowned
The girl had no longer a dress on.
Caused the duke and lady fair
To manly pair
All came clear in confession.
In such a night…
I think it might be fun
To confuse everyone
By changing my name and cross dressing
But I think that they might see
That it was really me
To be or not to be is the question
Then Bassinio lost his ring
It could have cost him everything
The doctor his wife gave a testing.
There’s competition in the wit
Of Beatrice and Benedick
But by a trick they draw nearer
Orsino was her biggest fan
Of her apparel as a man
Which showed up his love and devotion
How now Malvolio
Cruel pranks have left you low
The lady she likes not your garters
In such a night